April 27, 2020
This pandemic has changed a lot of things in our lives. And a lot of this change is really challenging - less access to services, lack of routine, loss of income, loss of social and physical connection. Loss of loved ones. Loss of freedom. We have experienced a lot of loss. And it happened unexpectedly and rapidly. I think many of us are collectively grieving these losses. And what a strange grief it is. Because - at least for me - it is mixed with hope. There is so much uncertainty about what are future holds. How are things going to be in a week? 2 months? 6 months? A year? We have no idea. So we hope. We hope that soon we will be able to see our friends and family in person. We hope that we will get to go on that trip we've been planning for ages. We hope that we can get back to "normal". And I think the challenging thing about all that hoping, is that it continually feels like we are experiencing more loss. As another week goes by, we realize it is less and less likely we are going to be able to have the wedding, or start the new job, that we've been expecting - that we had previously assumed was a certainty. As time passes, it feels like we are just gaining a greater and truer understanding of our grief. And it is really damn hard.
So should I give up hoping and expect the worst? Maybe then I'll be pleasantly surprised with the way things go. But no, that is not my style. I will not be giving up my hope any time soon. Because if I give that up, what will keep me going?
But what if I shift gears a bit? Rather than holding on too tightly to my existing goals - because who knows when I will be able to work toward those - I could start focusing more on my values. What kind of person do I want to be? How do I want to treat others? How do I want to deal with challenging times? Instead of worrying about how and when I am going to meet my goals, maybe I can start considering more how to live a life in accordance with my values. Because that is something I can be doing right now. It may look a little different than it did a few months ago, but at least I can still move forward, with a different kind of focus.
- Roo
A friend of mine, Bobby, has begun sending me these beautiful photos of sunsets. (Check out more of his photos here.) I view them as a little bit of hope to hold on to, as we wade through these challenging times. The earth still turns, the sun continues to rise and set, and we still are the same people. Now is an opportunity to figure out how to adapt, so that we can get through this together.
What are your values? Are there ways in which you can still engage in activities that align with your values, despite all the changes in your life?