June 13, 2020
Click here to listen to Muddy Feet, a song I wrote as I was wrapping my head/heart around quarantine.
I found solace with music. Everything became ok when I curled up at the window with an instrument, a pen, listening. I was soothed by sounds, my fingers toying with different frets and keys.
There was fear, paranoia, uncertainty, but giving love to those I cherish in life seemed to make everything ok too.
I cut ties with someone toxic in my life. A tooth that had to be pulled as goes the lyric. But I found the past made it confusing, made me doubt my decision, made me forget my current needs when beautiful memories would pour in, untainted and then turn muddy.
I’d been dragging the past behind me for months, wanting to live in a past version of myself/my life. Nostalgia comes in waves, sometimes when you don’t expect it. I wanted those past moments and looking around at the stagnancy of my life during Covid made me feel empty. There were lots of things I wanted back. But music filled me. And finding beauty and meaning and discovery in the present tense. Pouring love into things. Into people.
I think love is the most powerful force. To me, definitely. The more love I give, the more I am filled. It has been easy to feel stuck in Covid sometimes, although sometimes comforting because there’s no pressure to be constantly driving forward at an ungodly pace, racing, rushing. But in stillness there is always still movement. There’s time to give to relationships and passions. “The is world standing still” no longer really holds true - the world is moving, voraciously, demanding change with the BLM movement, (finally)! But loving those around me still very much holds true, and always will.
-Claire Shenstone-Harris
To here more of Claire's music, check out her Sound Cloud.
For information about Claire, you can check out her website.