June 3, 2020
An experience. That’s what it is. And experiences have the special quality of being unique to the person experiencing the experience. A sentence that caught my eye was “We are in the same storm, but not in the same boat.” So please take what follows as a droplet of experience among the ocean of experiences. My own droplet, which may be similar or dissimilar to yours.
At the beginning, I felt different emotions but was predominantly stressed due to all the unknown, and by having to rely almost entirely on myself and my partner to keep our children happy and entertained. Our kids are both pretty social and chatty, so we were worried that they would miss having social interactions with other people than their immediate family. Balancing work with taking care of children at home was also a puzzle in the beginning.
From the very start, I felt like I had to be (and like I was) in a mindset of self-compassion. Being kind to oneself (as we are so often with others). If I had to deal with a self-critical voice on top of everything that was going on, it would not have been to anybody’s service (although that little voice did make its way in, though it was easier to catch it and stop it from running free when you are in an accepting, self-compassionate stance).
Which takes me to acceptance. Looking back, accepting facts coming from reliable sources (e.g., government website and the city’s announcements) definitely lowered my worries. Accepting meant that I did not feel an urge or a need (nor did I really have the time – children are brilliant at capturing your attention), to spend hours looking at various news websites, etc. I am not, after all, a doctor, and the best I can do is to follow the recommendations set by the competent groups of people when it comes to matters of health.
Back to children and parenting. Turns out kids are very resilient and were surprisingly accepting of the new restrictions. Luckily, we have two children, and I believe that the fact that they are together helped for sure. It was amazing to discover how imaginative they are when they are left with some space, without a rushed routine. Also, watching the bond between siblings develop was heart warming.
You know the saying that it takes a village to raise a child? I found that there was an even bigger sense of a community than pre-pandemic in our neighbourhood. People around here are already pretty active (you have to check your blind spot before opening your car door to make sure there is no cyclist coming, even when it is -30 ⁰C in a snow storm). There were even more people in the streets once confinement started. Neighbours organized contactless scavenger hunts and decorations of rainbows were soon adorning every window. While on a walk, a neighbour took half an hour to introduce his beautiful Newfoundland dog to my son (without petting the dog). Strangers that we passed by on the cycling trail were more than happy to respond my daughter’s greetings and to do some small talk. Everyone would leave with a smile on their face.
As time went by, I have a new baseline. Having the kids at home is now the norm, and less stressful than at the beginning. I also have even bigger trust in the capacities and resilience of children. They are great beings!
Nature, trust between humans, and activities we do each day so that it is predictable enough but without a strict schedule, were some of the things that were keeping us parents sane. All in all, I am grateful for the time we have together and for so far being in good health.
Sending positive energy.
- Anonymous Contributor 7
The author of this post has chosen to remain anonymous. I have assigned a number to contributors who opt to remain anonymous. This is so readers have a sense of the number of different contributors that are involved in this growing community.