May 25, 2020
In mid April, I wrote about celebrating my dad's 70th birthday and my thesis defence on video calls. Since then there have been a number of other causes for celebration. I keep telling people that we'll have to celebrate "properly" once this is all over...but I'm starting to wonder how many birthdays and occasions I'm going to be racking up...I may have to accept the new normal, for now. In addition to video calls, my family and I have been finding some creative ways to share in these special occasions together.
A new baby in the family
In late April, my partner's brother and his wife gave birth to a baby girl. Leading up to the birth, we were worried that social distancing guidelines would not allow her father to be at the birth or not allow him to be present for the whole hospital stay. Luckily, just like in usual circumstances, the family was able to stay together throughout their time in hospital. However, unlike usual, they were not allowed any visitors. It was sad not being able to go rejoice with them in hospital. Instead we planned for a socially distanced visit.
Waiting to find a good day to visit made me realize how much the weather now impacts our ability to spend time with loved ones these days. After almost 2 weeks, we couldn't wait any longer, so we ended up dropping by on a rainy day. The family stood on the porch while we gazed at our adorable, sleepy niece from afar. They didn't hold her up Lion King style, but we still got to see her cute face as she snuggled in her dad's arms. A week later, we got to spend a longer visit in the backyard and again, we admired her at a distance.
I am still trying to master the art of supporting babies' heads in the early stages of their life, and this would typically have presented an ideal opportunity to practice. However, unfortunately, I think we're going to miss the chance to hold her while she can't support her head. So we find ourselves waiting for warmer weather to spend time with her, and waiting for even longer to be able to hold our new niece.
My honourary mum's birthday
One evening, when I was 6 years old, I was waiting for my parents to pick me up from day care. They were late, and I am impatient. Not a good combo..especially when hungry after a long day at school. Luckily, there was one other girl who was also waiting for her mum, and we ended up playing together. That was the beginning of what has now been a 22-year friendship. Over the years, we got our parents to sign a contract acknowledging that we were honourary sisters, and by extension each other's parents were our honourary parents.
Fast forward to 2020.
In early May it was my honourary mother's birthday. She lives fairly close by, so I was able to bike over to her place, and have outdoor tea with my honourary sister, her partner, and my honourary mother. It was lovely. It felt like the good ol' days (just a few months back) when I'd go over to their place for tea. Although her birthday celebration didn't involve cake or fig newtons (she loves those...but I hope even she'd agree that they aren't birthday worthy), it still felt special to be able to see my honourary family in person, go on a walk, and sit in their yard with them.
Mother's day
This year we didn't get to do some of our typical celebratory mother-daughter activities, like going for pedicures or out for dim sum, that we usually do. But at least on mother's day, I got to celebrate some of the awesome mother's in my life. As per my mother's request, we went on a 6km walk along the Humber River. (Luckily, even though I am getting close to 30, my mum is still taking care of me, and ensured that I brought snacks and water for this adventure.) This walk included scaling a hill, finding a hole in a fence and crossing train tracks, trespassing on a property that was under development, navigating through the forest, and walking in the rain. Even though we can't visit each other's houses or give each other hugs, at least my mum is still able to drag me on her never ending adventures.
My nephew's 7th birthday
My nephew didn't get to have a birthday party with all his friends this year. I imagine that must have been really disappointing for him. He is a very social boy, and hasn't been able to play in-person with his friends in 2 months! However, he did ask that the family come for visits and spend time with him. So we went for an afternoon in his back yard, kicked a soccer ball back and forth (a perfect socially distanced game for kids!), and went for ice cream. Although it isn't the usually celebration he'd get, it was really nice to spend time with family, in the sunshine.
My nephew is super into games. At 7 years old, he already knows how to play chess, euchre, and cribbage. (My brother informed us that my nephew's been crushing him in cribbage lately...although he blames it on lucky deals and cuts :P ). We got him a board game for his birthday. He asked if we could play his new board game with him, but sadly we had to say that we couldn't right now, due to social distancing guidelines. Luckily his awesome parents played with him that evening and sent us a picture of him playing the new game.
My nephew's birthday is definitely one that I want to be able to celebrate properly once we are able to do so again. I really want to give him a hug. For me, that's one of the hardest parts about social distancing. I know not hugging loved ones is helping everyone stay safe, but I really miss the feelings of joy and love that that Oxytocin release brings.
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Reflecting on these various ways of celebrating important occasions makes me incredibly thankful that I live in the same city as my immediate family. I know many people that are living far from their loved ones and don't get to see them in person. Although, even across the ocean, people seem to be scheduling extended family Zoom calls and coming up with creative birthday celebrations, which is fantastic.
I am grateful that my parents have generously lent us their car, so that we can visit family all across the city, without having to take public transit. I'm grateful that we don't have restrictions placed on how far we can travel from home, so that we are allowed to travel across the city. I am grateful that we are able to afford phones, laptops and pay for an internet connection, so that we can send and receive photos and have video calls with loved ones. I realize that people are in incredibly disparate circumstances, and I am constantly taking time to appreciate what I have right now, even if I want things to be different.
- Roo
Have you been celebrating any events during the Time of COVID? How are you celebrating? Do you have any ideas to share?
Your post really made it clear to me that social distancing cannot mean not spending time with friends and loved ones. Thank you for making the effort. More tea is in our future! xxoo