May 5, 2020
Since the beginning of this pandemic, my day-to-day life has not changed nearly as much as my friends and family. While I'm definitely impacted by the government's social distancing policies, I am also still working full-time. I am a unit clerk in the NICU (Neonatal Intensive Care Unit) of a busy Toronto hospital. When all of this started, it was never a question whether I would continue working or not. Of course I would. The NICU cares for some of the hospital's most vulnerable patients and can never close. Women will continue to give birth every day and there will always be sick and premature babies being born. So I go to work as I normally do and it's business as usual. But things are definitely not normal.
There's an atmosphere of uncertainty working at a hospital right now. Things are scary and unpredictable and no one knows what to expect. We prepare for the worst and nervously await for what each day brings. We have luckily not had any positive cases in the NICU, but it’s always a concern that it’s coming. I feel safe most of the time - I wear my mask, sanitize my hands and rarely venture out of my unit. But there's still always a level of anxiety you feel when you enter the building. That anxiety never leaves but you learn to deal with it, because you have to.
It's been strange to see how things have progressed in the hospital from the beginning of this pandemic. Within a week or so, it went from just signs advising visitors to report if they had symptoms or had traveled, to every person having to wear masks and almost no visitors being allowed to enter. One particular night a couple of weeks ago, I arrived for my night shift and was told our visitor policies had now changed and was going into effect immediately. We were now only allowing one parent in to see the child at a time and they had to come between certain hours. I had the job of calling all of our parents at 6 o'clock that next morning to inform them of these new restrictions. Even though these were
the hospitals policies and they were put in place to protect everyone, it didn't make my job any easier. Parents were understanding for the most part, but I still felt horrible telling people there were now limits on visiting their sick child. It just didn't seem right or fair to these parents who were already going through such a difficult and emotional time.
However, through all of this I am truly grateful for a lot of things. I am grateful to still have my job and not be struggling financially like so many other Canadians. I am grateful the hospital I work at is taking the right precautions to protect its staff and patients. I am grateful for my colleagues who continue to work hard and put themselves at risk every day. I am grateful for the families of our patients who are so understanding and appreciative of everything we do. And finally, I’m grateful to still feel like I have purpose and I can contribute my small part to providing necessary care to our most innocent and vulnerable patients.
- Claire