September 15, 2020
At the end of June, I wrote a post as we were heading into Phase 2 in Toronto. At that time, I talked about how so many decisions I was making were based on my emotions rather than actual risk levels. I was anxious to enter coffee shops, didn’t know if I’d go to the dentist this past summer, and was not willing to enter a mall. Oh, how my outlook (and emotional decision making) has shifted in the past 2.5 months. I go into coffee shops all the time, I went to the dentist, to the doctor, and have been in a number of clothing shops and even a mall. Although the clothing shops and mall have all been in more rural areas, I am now willing and even eager to go to ones in Toronto. I’ve eaten socially distanced inside restaurants. My partner and I have discussed him going back to the climbing gym.
But what has actually changed? We are so damn sick of social distancing!
Now we want to go into work. We want to go to the gym. Although I haven’t yet ridden the TTC, I’m willing to do so. I intend to go to a hair salon when I next need it cut, rather than have my boyfriend chop it off at home. I want to have friends over to our apartment (even though we’ve had no one but the dishwasher repair person over to our place for 6 months). We are fed up with COVID and are craving social connection with our loved ones. We are ready to loosen up!
We have been more conservative than government recommendations suggest, because we have been bubbling with our parents and want to ensure their health and safety. But we are coming to a point where we are going to be choosing our own mental health. Not that we intend to put others at unnecessary risk. Rather, if numbers in Toronto continue to stay decently low (whatever that means…they’re currently around 50 per day), then come winter, we’re going to stop bubbling with loved ones who are higher risk, and start spending more time with friends and out in the community in areas we have been avoiding for half a year.
All these decisions are so emotionally laden – decisions about bubbling, risk taking, mental health vs physical health, our mental health vs others. They are so complex and my opinions and feelings seem to be shifting week to week. COVID has added so much complexity to our lives, in ways I couldn’t even fathom when it was first declared a pandemic and I was sent home from work 6 months ago.
I AM TIRED OF IT…unfortunately, that doesn’t really matter to the virus…
- Roo
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