The last time I saw my mum before social distancing guidelines set in was March 7th. That was the last time we hugged for over 3 months. When we went on a walk 2 weeks later, my mum was expressing her dissatisfaction with not being able to touch her family members or even easily spend time together for the foreseeable future. At that point, we had no idea how long social distancing would last...we still don't. But I pointed out to her that I'd lived out of the city for 9 years of my adult life, and we could handle it. I was so nonchalant. But over time that nonchalance faded...
A few weeks ago, I was telling my boyfriend that I really wanted to hug my mum. He asked me if I missed hugging my best friend. I said yes, but I then explained how it wasn't the same as hugging my mum. Hugs with my friends don't typically exude love in the same way. So over the next few weeks, wanting to hug my mum kept coming to mind. We'd managed to avoid physical touch, even though her mother - my grandmother - had died. We were even planning a socially distanced cottage visit for the end of June....but I think we were deluding ourselves a bit if we thought we could actually effectively socially distance there.
But then everything changed!
Last Friday, we were having a picnic with a friend, when he mentioned, "Did you hear you can now form bubbles of 10?" I was PUMPED! I kept thinking, "Now I get to hug my mum!" That night, my partner and I began discussing how to navigate the bubbling, given that we have 3 sets of parents and siblings who we want to spend time with. Since we are going up to the cottage in 2 weeks with my mum and step-dad, we figured it'd make sense to bubble with them first. So I immediately messaged them and asked to have a sleepover last Sunday night. Yes, I wanted to have a sleepover with my parents. And they agreed!
So on Sunday night, I biked over to their place, and got to walk in the door and STAY in their house. It felt so lovely and comfortable. My mum and I gave each other a big, long hug, basking in finally being able to express our love that way. She smelled like herself. Well, she actually informed me it was Issey Miyake perfume, but given that she always smells like that, I think she still smelled like her.
It was such a lovely night. I got to eat dinner inside the house, I didn't worry about wiping down their bathroom for fear of infecting them, and I got to sit on the couch, chatting with my parents. In the morning, I even got to join them for their daily walk, that they've begun since COVID. Many times over the 12 hours I was with them, my mum and I would hug to take advantage of the time we had together.
Even though our level of risk of being infected really hasn't changed at all, we are now allowed to be together. My step dad pointed out that just because we can bubble, doesn't mean we should. I completely agree, but I want to. And given that they didn't say no to me, here we are.
I want to take full advantage of my bubbling capabilities while I can, since our plan is to switch bubbles once we get back from the cottage. Tonight are our family birthdays - there are 5 family birthdays that have occurred in the last month! Given that my brother, sister-in-law, and their kids are bubbled with my parents right now (which will be ending within the week), I am also going to take advantage of the brief time we are in the same bubble. I am thrilled to be able to hug and play with my nephew and pick my niece up and hold her. It may be the only time for a long time that I get to do this. It feels like a treat!
It's amazing how much I used to take hugging for granted. Such a seemingly simple thing, now feels like a treasure.
- Roo
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